Nothing Gold Can Stay

My Grandfather's Roses in bloom once again

The other day I had one of those scary moments when I thought "Shit, I am going to loose it... this thing I love it is going to be gone, and there is nothing I can do about it."  It was an irrational fear- the kind that happens only when I am feeling insecure and want to nail down everything that I love tight to my chest where I know it is safe.  I am so lucky to be showered with so much love- this makes me bloody scared and thankful all at once.

But it will all be gone one day.  In a hundred years everyone I love will be gone.  This is what Robert Frost meant when he wrote "nothing gold can stay."  Then again I transplanted my grandfather's roses to my house after he died.  Now those blooms are a strange paradox... blooming for a short time yet faithfully returning each year.  

So something about all this IS constant... in a North Star sort of a way.

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I know that what I am feeling has been felt before by countless folks behind me who were all fabulous in their own way but seriously...

***you are made of gold***

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Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay. 

-Robert Frost